Tuesday 10 September 2013

The Weird Stuff

America is great, but some things are weird and unsettling. For example:

1. Every day without fail there are a group of protestors outside the buildings where most of the classes are held. They carry signs with lovely slogans like 'Ask me why you deserve hell,' followed by a list saying that all fornicators, adulterers, sodomites, lesbians, fellatists, masturbators, vixens, porno freaks, drunkards, pot-heads, hypocrites, gossips, liars and non-Christians will go to hell. There were some other words that I couldn't make out from the Facebook photo (one of then looked like 'escalators' but it probably wasn't that). Often there a couple of guys outside them wearing rainbow flags reassuring everyone that they don't actually deserve hell, so that's something.

2. Most places that you would expect to sell ibuprofen don't sell ibuprofen. I had to go to the health center*, and then had to give my name and my student ID number twice, before being given a pack of 50 ibuprofen. So enough to last me the entire year then. 

3. A shop that sold toothpaste, deodorant, tampons and condoms did not sell tissues. So far I have not discovered anywhere that sells tissues. America needs Boots. I've not needed to buy new deodorant yet, but I've heard from reliable sources that spray deodorant is hard to come by. As are kettles, but that's a whole separate issue.

4. To be able to enroll in classes next 'semester', we have to take part in a ritual blood sacrifice. The unwilling tributes are summoned one by one for the bloodletting ceremony. Not only must they pay in blood but also in gold. By which I mean all the International Students have to take a blood test for TB, which costs $60. I can understand in theory why this is a good idea, but also I would gladly pay someone not to take my blood. Of course if I had TB I would literally be coughing up blood, in which case they'd be more than welcome to it. My test is on Monday and I cannot wait (no lie, I want it over.)

5. An International Student that I know, not from Kent, was breathalysed after drinking three days before his twenty-first birthday and now has to attend a student court, sort of like Mark Zuckerburg in The Social Network, so that's dramatic. 

6. The American roommate of a girl I know has eleven pillows. Eleven

On the other hand, the wide variety of non-alcoholic beverages that aren't tea sort of makes up for all of this. By which I mean, there's lots of pink lemonade and vanilla coke. I haven't dared try the Fanta yet because it seems dangerously orange. 



I also learnt today that during a screening of Disney's Beauty and the Beast for my Children's Literature course that Robby Benson, who is the voice of the Beast, is a professor at IU now, so that's pretty cool. Sadly he did not attend the screening. 

*American spelling only because it is called 'The Health Center', just like the Mall is called 'The Mall.' 

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